Why Stress Isn't the Problem (And What to Do About It)

In a recent conversation with a friend, we were talking about stress. She had become so frustrated with her stress-, sleep-, and movement-tracking Oura ring (we both have one, so we’re a bit like stress-tracking Power Rangers) that she tossed it aside. "The damn thing was telling me I was getting ill!" she complained.

“I was stressed about work, and then this? Just what I needed—another thing to be anxious about.”

This got me thinking about how we define stress, especially when you compare someone who works in wellness (like me) with someone who doesn’t.

Understanding Stress: It's More Than Meets the Eye

We’ve all been stressed—it's practically a modern-day condition. But what do you think of when you hear the word stress? For many, it’s the mental overwhelm from a never-ending to-do list, financial worries, or a chaotic workday. These are the types of stress we know well, but here’s the twist: stress isn't always what it seems.

There are two types of stress we need to talk about:

1. Psychological Stress (Mind-Driven)

This is the stress that comes from your thoughts—the busy mind working overtime. It’s the worrying about everything, the constant pressure from deadlines, and the mental chaos. It’s what most people think of when they hear "stress."

2. Physiological Stress (Body-Driven)

This type of stress comes from physical exertion. When you go for a run, work out, or do yoga, your body is under stress. Your muscles work harder, your heart rate spikes, and you may even feel breathless. But here’s the catch: you might feel calm while doing these activities, even though your body is under stress.

The Body’s Stress Response: It’s the Same for Both

Here’s where it gets tricky. Both types of stress trigger the same physiological response in your body. When you’re mentally stressed—say, an argument with your ex—you experience the same fight-or-flight response as you would if you were running a 10K. Adrenaline and cortisol are released, and your body goes into survival mode.

So even if your mind feels calm, you may still feel drained from the stress of your workday. Similarly, after a tough workout or yoga session, your body might still be recovering from the stress even if you feel relaxed.

Stress Isn’t Bad… Until It Becomes Constant

Stress in moderation is actually good for us. It’s how we grow. When you push your body—through exercise, tough deadlines, or other challenges—you tear your muscles, and then they rebuild stronger. Your mind sharpens as you face challenges. But here’s the thing: it’s all about balance.

The issue arises when stress becomes constant. When you’re in a perpetual state of fight-or-flight, it starts to take a toll on your health and well-being. It’s easy to get stuck here. You get stressed out over small things—someone taking your parking spot, misplacing your keys—and snap easily.

Think about this “perfect” morning routine that influencers rave about: wake up, ice bath, 5K run, another coffee, and BAM—you’re at your desk with adrenaline running the day. No wonder so many people burn out.

Why Stress-Tracking Wearables Are Helping You (If You Use Them Right)

It’s tempting to rely on tech wearables to tell us how we’re feeling. But often, they just provide data without giving us the context we really need. My friend’s Oura ring, for example, was alerting her that her body was stressed and possibly getting ill—even though she felt fine.

The problem is, we’ve forgotten how to listen to our bodies. We rely too much on apps to tell us when we’re thirsty, tired, or even stressed. But your body has the innate ability to send you these signals—it’s just a matter of reconnecting with it.

Wearables can be great tools for awareness. They help us spot patterns. But rather than using them as judgmental "stress-shamers," think of them as guides that help you learn about your body’s responses to stress. Maybe your morning yoga class isn’t mentally stressful, but your wearable shows that your body is still recovering from the exertion. That’s okay—it’s a sign that your body needs rest.

The Importance of Rest in the Stress Equation

Rest is the key to balancing stress. And no, it’s not laziness—it’s essential. To perform at your best in your career, be present in your relationships, and have the energy to chase your passions, you need to prioritise rest. Just like physical exercise helps you grow stronger, downtime helps your body and mind recover.

If you’re constantly running on empty, feeling wired but tired, and pushing yourself too hard, you’re missing the most important part of the equation: recovery.

What To Do Next: Tune In to Your Body

Start paying attention to what your body is telling you. What does rest really feel like for you? Is it curling up with a good book? Taking a nap? Maybe it’s a quiet walk in nature. Find the activities that help you relax and restore your energy.

And if you rely on a wearable to track your stress, don’t just treat it as another tool to judge yourself. Use it as a way to understand your limits. If it’s telling you your body is stressed, take it as a gentle reminder to rest. Don’t let it stress you out even more!

TLDR: Manage Stress, Don’t Avoid It

Stress is a part of life, and it’s okay to experience it. The key is balance. Physical stress, like exercise, is vital for growth, but it’s important to make sure you’re allowing time for recovery. And remember, your body knows best—don’t let a wearable device make you feel bad for needing rest.

So, what will your resting activity look like today? Maybe you’ll take a break, read a book, or just sit in silence. Whatever it is, make sure it helps you recharge.

This was originally posted on Joyful, my Substack. If you want more insights on managing stress and living a joyful life, subscribe for more tips and deep dives.